my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
yay studied more and i'm pretty pleased with my progress. two and a half hours of non stop french revolution. dear God, please let me maintain this progress till i at least finish the section before Napoleon. see i don't even know what that section is called, all i know is i want to finish everything about the French Revolution up till Napoleon which is pretty much the rest of that topic. i wanna get french kitty tops! saw them somewhere and i must say, pretty pretty! so that's one more to add to my list. looks like there's gonna be a proliferation of tees soon teehee (pun intended :P). dad's home and thank God, because there was this huge fly that flew into my house jes now and i'm not even sure if it's a fly because it's friggin huge and makes a lot of disturbing noises when it flies. i was so traumatised i didn't know what to do. was jes reading the papers and then suddenly the damn thing zooms in and banged against the wall then fell to the floor and miraculously managed to zoom around my house like mad which of course got me worked up. it was sooo near my room that i didn't dare to hide in my room because i was afraid that if i opened my door it'll fly inside and once it's in, it'll be damn hard to get it out. see i have a lot of experience, because i have been perpetually afraid of insects since i was young. UGHH. now that daddy's gone, it's gone too. what the hell. :(
okay i need a bath. wanted to bathe earlier on but the stupid thing was flying about so much i didnt dare venture into any part of the house and decided to hide in my hole. well at least the fly made me stay in my room and forced me to study. HAHA.
written with ♥ at
7:10 AM;
